So.....
Did anyone else out there think they'd have it all figured out by 30? I never remember thinking to myself, "Dang. I can't wait until I'm 30 and this all gets easier." But common sense would conclude that after 30 years of doing something, you might have it mastered. Not so in my case.
My life leading up to my 30th birthday was anything but perfect. My husband and I were saving our marriage after hitting rock bottom, I was starting to realize that my career aspirations shot a bit lower than I had then hoped for, and I had little sense of who I really was. I looked forward to my 30th year being one of complete realization and transformation. That was almost 6 months ago and I can't complain. I just finished my first semester going back to school (getting and B & C in my two classes, thank you very much), I've bought a fiddle and intend to learn it, I've started painting again, I've reconnected with friends, attended a workshop/study that completely changed the way I interact with people, and are feeling like a more in control mother and wife.
But even after all this, there is still something distressing me. I have no idea what my true talent is and how to make a career of it. I don't know what my passion is. And although my journey back in school is going to be a long one, I have little knowledge of what to pursue after all the general education classes are completed. I do have a few ideas though. And I'm truly hoping that through this experiment, I may gain a greater sense of what it is a should be when I grow up.
1. I love to cook. I love to take pictures of what I'm cooking. I love to cook for others.
2. I'm a good writer. I journaled most of my childhood and early adult life. Even after being out of school for over ten years, I got the third highest grade on my first essay when I took my first class last spring.
3. I love planning things. Parties. Birthdays. I greatly enjoy organizing and making lists and spreadsheets.
I'm hoping by having a place that I can push myself to display these activities, I may find what is truly my strength. I'm still not quite sure how they will manifest on the internet. But I know, regardless, they will.
"There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind." - C.S. Lewis
